So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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