Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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