I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌ï¸
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
