i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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