I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm too high and old for this...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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