There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
