can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
