and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize