shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize