Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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