Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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