He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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