Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
