His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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