Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
