Me. At least after what I've been through.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
