he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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