i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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