you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
