I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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