Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
