Tell her she can't have a vagina
we made out on top of his cat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize