windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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