I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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