so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
