i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize