I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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