Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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