Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
