hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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