All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
