I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
