Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
