I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
