you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
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I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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