whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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