so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
