I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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