yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Barsexuality is the new black.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
