You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
