I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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