Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
