he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
