I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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