fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
