Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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