i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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