I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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