white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
