Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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