We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize