we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
