Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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