just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
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We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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