Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize