I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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