So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
