Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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