while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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